Catch a Wave

“I will meet you where the waves are breaking.” - Bono

Life is like surfing. This is one of the profound thoughts I thought while surfing. 

We see Kelly Slater or Laird Hamilton catching waves, winning competitions, and gracefully riding above the sea like Poseidon, himself. These are the people we admire and want to be like when we grow up. But they are few. Most of us will never be Kelly Slater or Laird Hamilton. We paddle out, and do all we can to stay in place without being washed back to shore. We sit and wait and get sunburnt. We watch the waves pass us by and if we try to catch one, we mistime it and go for a tumble in the rinse cycle. Every now and then, we catch a wave, stand up, and experience euphoria. But the moment is brief, and we start over again. 

We see the life we want and we try to get it, but what we are chasing is an illusion. My imagination of what it’s like to be Laird Hamilton is not his experience. The life I want does not exist in this world. Even if I managed to get what I want, I would quickly realize it wasn’t what I wanted. And even if it was, it wouldn’t last. This is what countless pop stars, millionaires, and hedonists are always discovering. Nothing satisfies and nothing lasts. There is no point of arrival or happily ever after. All we ever have are the moments and the memories. Alan Watts said life is not a journey with a destination as we are often told. He said it’s more like a dance (though I prefer a different analogy) where the purpose is not to get to the end, but is wrapped up in the act, itself.

Most of the act is not exciting, fun, or obviously meaningful or significant. Much of it may not even be the result of personal choice. For the majority of people around the world and throughout history, life is violent, short, and filled with pain and suffering. For those of us more privileged, it may be merely tedious and mundane. 

But for all of us, it can feel pointless. We are prone to injury, plagued by our own limitations, and fighting against terrible odds. We are up against the capricious and unpredictable whims of the weather, and there are malevolent sharks in the water trying to eat us. And we are the fortunate ones who (at the risk of belaboring the analogy beyond all reasonable bounds) made it past the breakers.

The real difficulty is not in the amount of energy we are required to expend, but doing so under the crushing weight of suspense. The threat of imminent failure is always looming over us. We don’t know from what direction it will come or when the other shoe will drop. But ours is a universe of infinite shoes, and even as we wait for one to inevitably squash us, we are somehow never quite able to let go of hope.

There’s a Broadway musical called Hadestown, which is a retelling of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth. When Hades tests Orpheus and Eurydice with the long walk out of Hell, Persephone tells him, “You let them go.” Hades responds, “I let them try.” 

This is what the gods have given us: no easy journey, no guarantee of safe or happy arrival. A path lined with obstacles, traps, pain, malevolence, and dumb luck. A straight and narrow path with the allure of Paradise at the end and a bottomless pit of Hell on either side. The odds are against us and we are running out of time. But we get to try.

And what will we try for? Surely something more than the pursuit of our own happiness, ambition, or desire. Of course we want abundance and a long happy life full of good things, but this is not much of a mission. We were made for something bigger than ourselves – something less like a vacation or early retirement and more like a meaningful adventure.* The attempt to become all we were made to be, to be a useful part of the Great Story, and to help others along the way. 

The truth is, the most mundane part of surfing is still a joy. The privilege to play in the ocean, to feel the wild power of the waves. Even going limp in a proper wipeout, not knowing which way is up or where one’s next breath will come from, is exhilarating. Once we stop asking the moments of life to fulfill us, or last, or do anything more than they were designed to do, we are free to enjoy them for what they are. 

Beyond all odds, we have been given the chance to live. It is irrelevant how long we have or what the results will be. We have been given the chance to try for the noblest and most worthy thing we can. I know the suspense is murderous. It’s easier to lose quickly and blame it on someone else. It’s easier to build a small, safe life and say we did the best we could. 

But there is no such thing as safe. Everything will be washed away. There is no hope of making it out alive, and only when we embrace this are we free to live without fear or compromise. We are free to live without greed because nothing is really ours. We are free to live without concern for ourselves because we are concerned for things greater than self. Even as we are dragged down by the weight of all we are up against, we are free to reach for the heavens. We are free to try.

Grab a board and paddle out. I will meet you where the waves are breaking.

J.

*The cultured reader will find the spirit of Dr. Jordan Peterson pervading these paragraphs.

April 25, 2023